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ICPenis

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Anyone who knows me knows I have 3 obsessions in lyfe- sex (duh), bacon (double duh) and motherfucking Juggalos (the most interesting subculture ever). My friend Billy sent me a link to this amazing article entiled “Sex Advice from Juggalos”. Read it in its entirety here on nerve.com. Some interesting jems…

What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen at a Juggalo event?
Oh shit, where do I start? I was at a Miss Juggalette Pageant one night and I saw a girl get onstage and shove a twelve-inch kielbasa up her neden hole. Juggalos can’t dance, you know? So I guess they got to do something.

Wait, what’s a neden hole?
Oh, we call vaginas nedens.

I’ve been getting serious with a guy. The more I get to know him, the more I realize he’s super Christian. I’m not even a little bit. Should I end it?
No. If you love a girl, then that shouldn’t matter. Unless she’s, like, all gung-ho and trying to convert you. Then maybe you can kick her to the curb. Most things are cool with Juggalos. I’ve seen dudes with 300-pound girls with facial hair and it’s all good. Big, fat, bald, retarded — it’s all good with us.