i scream, you scream

who wants to grind?

Smell yo Dick.

with 4 comments

I, for the first time, started sleeping with a man who was uncircumcised.  It honestly didn’t make that much of a difference to me at all.  Everything seemed totally normal.  Almost everything.  We slept together 4 times.  The first time I was drunk and don’t remember much.  The second time there was definitely a moment when I went to go down on him and I noticed a pungent odor.  I thought to myself, “OMG… is that me??  Did we rub privates and now his dick smells because of my vag juice?”.  We all know vaginas sometimes smell.  We have wAY more inner workings going on there and lets face it… it happens. And to be clear, I don’t mind a little ball sweat smell… but this was more.  I excused myself for a second pretending I had to use the bathroom to check out the sitch.  Nothin.  Peachy fresh.  I give a quick rinse just to be sure and head back to the bed.  Upon working my way back towards his cock with my mouth it becomes apparently clear that his dick just smELLs.  Awkward.  I even notice that the smell has transferred to my hand.  There’s  no turning back at this point and being the good woman I am, I take a deep breath and go in.  I hold my breath while giving him head taking short breaks to quickly breath out, breath in through my mouth and carry on.  I do this for all of a minute or 2 before I pull a “I need you inside me right now” kinda thing JUST to get it away from my face.  The only way to fix it was to bury it (condoms of cOURse).  And the sex was good… he was well hung and it was by no means mind blowing… but good.

The next time we meet up, we end up in the bedroom and I don’t even think about it at first.  I figured the last time he must have been running around all day… un showered… it couldn’t be an all the time kind of stench.  He must have just been having a smelly dick day.  Something we women can totally relate to (and I would never write off a perfectly good peen for one day of being less than calgon fresh).  We start talking about what we like, what we don’t like.  I tell him I like it rough.  I tell him I like my hair pulled.  I tell him I like for a man to slap his cock on my face.  We start disrobing, and, as per my own instructions, he mounts me and starts to bring his penis to my face when I realize… it fucking STINKS!!  Like I’m talking ear cheese stink.  Sharp.  PaINful.  And now he has pinned me down and thinks I want him to rub it all over my face.  I swear… only in my world…

So unfortunate… because he was fun.  Great body, great dick, sexy euro accent…  *sigh*

It made me feel kind of bad for him because one can only assume he has no idea.  And I find it unfortunate that no girlfriend has ever told him.  I have only slept with one other man with an uncircumcized dick (one time) and I would definitely remember if it had smelled, so I am definitely not saying they all do.  I assume, it is a matter of keeping it really reAlly clean.  Youscreeem and I googled it this morning and found that: an accumulation of  smegma in the foreskin can contribute to the fishy smell.  Smegma IS a real word… who kneW!?

Listen… I am not judging or talking shit.  I really just think it’s important for uncircumcised men to be awARE.  Women have to worry about it all the time.  And it sucks.  I know a lot of girls who can’t even get comfortable receiving head because they are so self conscious about it.  I lived with bacterial vaginosis, undiagnosed (planned parenthood FAIL) for over a year.  It was HELL.  Nothing will rob you of your femininity like being able to smell yourself at all times.  My boyfriend at the time (what a trooper) and I had a joke about it.  We called it “void stank puss”… it was amazing that he stuck with me but still… HELL.  But, BV, much like smegma, affects millions of people and is easily rectified if you just take the proper steps to treat, or in the case if the cheesy smegma dick… just CLEAN that shit!!  Tell your friends.  Spread the word.  We don’t have to live with genital stench… life is better than that!!!!

With that… I leave you with a song.


love,

me.

4 Responses

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  1. i luv you.

    youscreeem

    September 1, 2010 at 12:36 am

  2. and you really are a good woman.

    youscreeem

    September 1, 2010 at 12:37 am

  3. i luv you too. we are the fucking BEST.

    icecreeem

    September 1, 2010 at 12:45 am

  4. Incredible research on this subject.

    whiptcreeem

    September 8, 2010 at 9:28 am


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