i scream, you scream

who wants to grind?

Learn To Live With It

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It’s been a while. I was out experimenting, with different ideas. To be honest I got called out about something and to prove a point, to myself more than anyone, I decided to get with the program and join Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous or SLAA. Now I have to admit when I first heard that a group of sex addicts are going to be meeting up over coffee, the wheels start turning and my imagination runs wild with possibilities. The first thought being that I would meet some lovely, nasty, beastly beauty of a man and we relapse together in the parking lot after the meeting. So to avoid such a thing, my introductory meeting was women’s only. I’ve been known to switch-hit, but muff-diving as a way of life has never been my thing. This was the worst slumber party I have ever been to and it only lasted an hour. A lot of good-looking, well-educated women crying over married men who they not only work with but are having affairs with. The most depressing are the lot who have been attending meetings for five years, still bereft over their “qualifier,” the term used for the person who made them realize that there was a “problem.” I never got on board with this term. For some reason I like to refer to mine as the “outlier,” because statistically speaking what we had was so far off the charts, how could I have not been addicted to it.

My next meeting was co-ed and far more entertaining. We go around the circle introducing ourselves. “My name is Whiptcreeem and I am a sex and love addict.” Then everyone says, “Hello, Whiptcreem” and you lay it down for the next two minutes as to why you are there, leaving out the really dirty details (yawn). There was the “player,” who by his own admission had no other talent but sex, so from high school on he has honed his skills. Then the teacher, who turned on his overhead projector, connected to his laptop, connected to the internet, still on the craigslist ad he was cruising before the middle schoolers took their seats in class that day. We had a stalker, a couple gay men mentally abused by their much older boyfriends over the years, the soon-to-be ex-wife of a musician just off suicide watch and a handful of “anorexics,” the avoidants of any and all forms of intimacy.

I never thought that I would be someone who in the midst of some life folly, would feel the overwhelming need to have to go to a meeting. However, I found the meetings cathartic, insightful, and a  little humorous. When faced with some work difficulties,  something that had nothing whatsoever to do with sex, I was off to the nearest meeting. Fearing that I was late, I sped through rush hour traffic, ran from the parking lot to the meeting room and found three people, one woman and two men, gathered around a table. I plopped down in a chair, out of breath at this point,  and I introduced myself “My name is Whiptcreeem and I am a sex and love addict.” Silence. Then it hit me: “This isn’t the SLAA meeting is it?” They shook their heads “no.” Unabashed, I apologized and went back to the car.

I haven’t been back to a meeting since. I’m not ruling it out, I’m just saying that after a lot of soul-searching, I’m not ready to hang it up yet. And why should I? judging from this past weekend, some of these boys still need to learn a thing or two.  By all means, stay tuned…

Written by whiptcreeem

July 17, 2010 at 11:42 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. god i fuckin love you. first getting tied up by a craigslist-er… now SLAA… you craycray girl. in the sexiest way 😉


    July 18, 2010 at 8:31 pm

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