i scream, you scream

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Archive for January 2010

r. kelly twin spin

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My dude Bomarr‘s got me thinking about one of the Midwest’s finest exports this week, Robert Sylvester Kelly. R. Kelly has written some of the most amazing songs EVER- Bump n Grind, Ignition, Half on a Baby, the hook to Biggie’s Fuckin’ You Tonight and, of course, the hip hopera Trapped in the Closet. Here are two lesser known but equally amazing slow jams that incorporate some of my favorite things- boning, food, and weed…

Written by youscreeem

January 28, 2010 at 11:25 pm

Lola Luv… aka… like whoa.

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what the fUCK!? why have i never heard of her??  i’m always so out of the loop.  and now i’m totally obsessed with googling pics of her big black ass.

here’s some of my faves, so far…

Written by icecreeem

January 28, 2010 at 1:36 am

aaym grrl…

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Written by icecreeem

January 27, 2010 at 10:27 pm

when i think about you… (a sex toy review series)

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Over the years I have accumulated a small yet sweet lil collection of toys.  Some gifted to me by others, some I sought out on my own to fill certain needs or explore nagging curiosities.  Some have been life changing.  Others…. not so much.  So anyways… without further ado… here goes.

In chronological order…

1) Perfect Pleasures Jelly Pink Vibrator

This was a case of hungry eyes in the sex shop.  Me and my BFF go in and start perusing the aisles and both ended up leaving with this big flourescent pink glittery vibrator.  We went home and tried it out (not together you filthy creatures) and both had the same reaction… wow it’s pretty big.  I appreciate it’s girth.  It’s silicon so with a lil lube it slides in and out very comfortably,  and the veiny texture does give it a hint of realism.  The little nubs at the base kind of confuse me.  While I’m assuming they are for clitoral stimulation, they really just kind of hurt.  And they look like dildo warts.  The vibrating mechanism stopped working pretty soon after I bought it.  All that aside though, this is still my go to for some good standard dildoin.  And sometimes that’s all you need god dammit.

I am sure there are way better options out there… but it serves it’s purpose well.  And eVeryone should have a glittery pink dildo…

2) Wicked Essentials Bullet with removable Rabbit Sleeve

I have scoured the interweb for this toy and am tOtally bummed I can’t find it!  Here’s the deal.  When you turn the bullet on, the ears of the rabbit flick around much like 2 fingers rubbing together REALLY fast.  When you hold it so there is an ear on both sides of your clit, your clit becomes a sort of punching bag of orgasmic bliss.  My bullet is loud as hell, but it packs a punch so powerful it feels like a jolt of electricity on your pussy.  For fun sometimes, right when I’m just getting things going I kick it to full blast and it seriously makes my whole body jolt.  Not the best toy for a roommate situation.  Like I said it is LOWD.  But really really awesome for girls who need a serious clit beating to get them anywhere.  And with the removable silicone sheath clean up is a breeze!  My bullet is by the brand Wicked, but since I can’t find it anywhere I’d recommend trying this combo (photos and links below) from Good Vibrations…  The reviews seem to say the bullet is pretty powerful, and I always have great luck with their products.

This gets me there EVERYtime.  A 100% absolute must have.  And don’t get the one that’s attached to the dildo.  This one gives you way more artistic licence… great to use on all body parts… nipples, balls, butt holes…

PS… another amazing thing about having a bullet is teaming it up with other non vibrating silicon toys.  Since silicon carries vibration infamously well and the bullets are generally pretty strong, you can simply hold the bullet anywhere on the silicon toy and the whole thing will vibrate quite nicely.  HIGHLY recommended with butt plugs.  Also works great with my (broke ass) Perfect Pleasures Jelly Pink Vibrator (turned dildo).

Wild Hare Bunny Sleeve

Silver Bullet Vibrator

3) Doc Johnson’s Lucid Dream No. 69

SO… with only my broken pink schlong and deafeningly loud rabbit, I set out to find something a little more roomy friendly.  I thought I’d go water proof since my others weren’t and what better place to catch up on some alone time than in the tub?  I stumbled upon The Lucid Dream series at the Hustler store in Ft. Lauderdale.  It’s claims were that it was powerful, quiet, and water proof.  In hindsight I don’t really know why I would have gone for this shape over all the others.  It’s too small to be a dildo, too big to be a bullet.  I have since realized it’s ACTUALLY a butt plug.  But too big for my tight little ass.  The vibration is pretty alright… but I have to say this is the one toy I’ve ever bought and never use.  Nice quality and pretty color, but all in all kind of useless in my book.  Although a few of the other shapes in the Lucid Dream series do look more intriguing to me now…

ps… i just noticed on www.edenfantasys.com that a lot of their toys they have a “view actual size” button.  SO innovative…

ok.  more to come… stay tuned for butt plugs, anal dildos, g spot stimulators, nipple clamps, cock rings etc etc etc…

Written by icecreeem

January 26, 2010 at 10:43 pm

The Roar of Love… A Love Poem.

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I woke up (at 1 pm) today to the most amazing package on my front doorstep.  As you may have gathered, youscreeem and I have been temporarily ripped from each other’s bosoms due to circumstances far beyond our control.  It’s been months since we’ve spooned, or fed each other fromage, or licked dildos together.  When she returns home, it will be the most joyous day of my life.  My ENTIRE life.  I opened the package to find this record… which is pretty much songs inspired by what is sure to be our future, aka Narnia.  Highlighted in the lyrics was this song, OUR song, “Are you Going to Narnia”…  it goes like this:

Are you going to Narnia

Take me along with you

To meet the lion with the golden mane (aka the sex werewolf)

To stare into his eyes so true (that’s where we suck him off)

I hear the ground gives living gold

And you can drink diamonds i’ve been told (slurp)

In Narnia

Are you going to Narnia

Take me along with you

To meet the lamb who is a lion

I want to learn to love him too (this part is talking about us having a 3some)

We’ll sail the sea of lily white (this is the part we do cocaine off each other’s tits)

And float on water of living light (that’s where i squirt)

In Narnia

Narnia i can hear you call

I can hear it all

Deep inside of me (that’s where everyone just starts grinding on us)

And oh every part of me cries out

I want to shout (that’s where i scream and you scream)

Let me go along with you

I want to go to Narnia Narnia. (it’s so good they said that shit TWICE!)


I luv you boo. (PUSSY PUKE!!)

Nice fox, hurry home.

Written by icecreeem

January 22, 2010 at 7:48 pm

i wish i had a pizza and a bottle of wine…

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“In the original video for Girls’ shambolic pop gem “lust for Life”, various friends of the band, in various stages of undress, mime out Christopher Owens’ lyrics. In that version, they come thisclose to revealing various verboten body parts. Well, there’s a new and completely different cut of the video out there, and nobody’s trying to hide anything in this one.

Remember the two guys in their undies in the original video? They’re not in their undies anymore. And one of them uses the other one’s schlong as a mic. Yes, really. Also: lots of boobs. Suffice to say, this one is very, very NSFW.”

via Pitchfork.com

Written by youscreeem

January 22, 2010 at 12:50 am

in other words… pussy.

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bumbo (archaic black british)

doodle sack

glamity (jamaican)

gwarry (south african)

house of commons (a whore’s pussy)

knish (yiddish)

nash (jamaican)

pum pum (jamaican)

tunti (jamaican)

wicket (medieval english)

yoni (sanskrit)

Written by icecreeem

January 21, 2010 at 8:43 pm

Posted in sex stuff

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New Jiz!!!

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My favorite…

Written by youscreeem

January 18, 2010 at 2:00 pm