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Archive for October 2009

Semen shanty

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Here’s a favorite of mine from Loudon Wainwright, Rufus Wainwright’s daddy. I mean, really, this song NEVER gets old to me. I’m not gonna apologize for the shitty youtube video, just criticize the ASSHOLE who blocked out that poor girl’s titties and pink parts like they’re obscene or something. Fuckin’ prudes man.

for my first mate Andy;)

Written by youscreeem

October 28, 2009 at 9:11 am

putt every-thing in your butt!

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step aside i’ve been doin it for years!!

ahhhh… an oldie but still¬†soooooooo good…


ps… PLEASE excuse the horrible visuals… i couldn’t find any even remotely non retardo youtube version of it and that’s the only way my butt knows how to post songs. we can’t ALL be bomarr ūüėČ

close your eyes and enjoy…

Written by icecreeem

October 27, 2009 at 12:20 pm

dirty whore (like really… dirty…)

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Everyone has one of those guy¬†friends.¬† The handsome, charming, sleezy one.¬† The one with the huge dick¬†that has a¬†reputation that precedes it, and¬†the¬†baby blues¬†that has the ladies¬†taking off their panties before they even leave the bar…

Well, maybe not everyone.¬† But needless to say i did.¬† And by this time he had slept with every single girl i knew.¬† Allofthem.¬† Not having slept with him was something i was pretty proud of.¬† He was a devilishly sexy boy, i could see it, and i’m not kidding when i say his dick was huge (i saw it plenty of times being whipped around at parties before this fateful night)¬†but i just wasn’t that attracted to him.¬† I always went for dark and mysterious.¬† He was more obvious.¬† Obvious bores me.

SO, one night, we go out, blah, blah, drunk.¬† I was living with my brother at the time (who knew this guy as well as i did) and somehow they both ended up back at our apartment before me.¬† When i got there, ¬†a note on my door from my brother read… “He’s here.¬† Sorry, he was drunk and i didn’t want him driving, i told him not to touch you.¬† good night.”

Ah jeez.¬† Ok.¬† I go in my room¬†and sure enough he is sprawled out on my twin size water-bed, awake, and he watched me as i crossed the room.¬† “C’mere”.¬†

“Ya know, i think i’m just gonna sleep on the couch… that bed is¬†small and…”¬† he grabs my arm and very jerkily pulls me¬†on to the bed.¬† On to him.¬† Ah jeez.¬† Ok…

I knew i did¬†not want to sleep with him.¬† First of all, it seemed a health risk since he was by far the biggest slut i knew, second, we were friends and i just wASn’t that attracted to him.¬† But “no” (especially to cock)¬†was never my strong suit, so he kissed me.¬† And i¬†went along with it.¬†¬†¬†¬†

We start rolling around, and i think… fine.¬† Whatever.¬† I love dick.¬† Yours is huge… so let’s get to it shall we?¬† As clothes start coming off i deFinitely notice that his “huge” cock is “not hard”.¬† I put it in my mouth.¬† Nothing.¬† He goes down on me and gives it a few tugs, nothing.¬†

G’niGHt!!…

But no…he wasn’t ready to give up.¬† I felt bad for him at this point because i knew he knew it was his one shot.¬† His chances of getting me here again were slim to no fucking chance and i knew this was not how he wanted it to go down (obvy).¬† The pressure was on, which we all know is the kiss of¬†uncooperative whiskey dick death.¬† This is when he proceeded to try and jAm his marshmallow soft¬†wee wee into my not wet pussy.¬† SOMEHOW… against all laws of physics,¬† he manages to get it in, at which point i’m thinking “uh-hu… right…¬†wHat pray tell do you plan to do with it now?”.¬† He starts trying to “fuck” me with it, but instead,¬†just keeps mashing it in with his hand then falling right back¬†out… (come on ladies… i know we’ve all been there…)

As this is going on, a plant i had sitting on the shelf above my bed falls onto us and dirt¬†flies everywhere.¬† EVERYwhere.¬† And of cOurse, he didn’t notice.¬†I tried to get his attention to alert him to the fact we are now¬†mashing our non-aroused private parts together on a dirt bed, but he really didn’t seem to care.¬† O the shame…

I honestly don’t even remember how it ended.¬† But at some point he fell asleep, with his dick in his hand,¬†and i went into the bathroom.¬† I had dirt in my hair, eyes, ears…¬†¬†I had fucking dirt in my mouth.¬† I knew i shouldn’t have fucked him.¬† And this is what i got.¬† I looked in the mirror and laughed.¬†

¬†I mean… c’mon, that shit is pretty fucking¬†funny… dirt whore 4 LYFE.

Written by icecreeem

October 26, 2009 at 1:04 am

a peenometer!!

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lolz

cockring_counter

Written by icecreeem

October 25, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Posted in toys

Tagged with , , , ,

Disney with Dicks

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Penis Gardens and Masterbation Cycles and Labia fountains O MY!!  How did i not know about this yet!? 

Jeju Loveland (also known as Love Land) is an outdoor¬†sculpture park which opened in 2004 on Jeju Island in South Korea. The park is focused on a theme of sex, running sex education films, and featuring 140 sculptures representing humans in various sexual positions. It also has other elements such as large phallus statues, stone labia, and hands-on exhibits such as a “masturbation-cycle.” The park’s website describes the location as, “a place where sexually-oriented art and eroticism meet.”

China tried to copy Korea’s ass off but theirs got shut down before it even opened because it¬† “was deemed to be a negative influence on Chinese society”.¬† China… more like Chi”not any fun”a..

ba-files-china-l_0500160002chongqing-wash-hands002223_display081906-loveland-korea-cLove_Land_fountainsloveland3Loveland4shapeimage_1loveland12sexpark1chinese-sex-park-2-500x355129DLove_Land_sculpture1_21_sex_theme_park_450tan1love-land

Written by icecreeem

October 23, 2009 at 2:47 pm

gallery update!

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this update features Jean Paul Ceytaire.  yummy.Untitled-1

Written by icecreeem

October 20, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Posted in gallery

our twats

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we’re doin it!!¬† incase you haven’t noticed on the right hand side of your screen, we be tweetin’.¬† o the joys of technology!!¬† follow us to infinite orgasmic bliss! (or at least some funny pics and a lot of us talking about pussies and big dicks…)

C’MON!!

Written by icecreeem

October 19, 2009 at 10:20 pm