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Archive for April 2009

Weezy knows what’s up.

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Written by youscreeem

April 16, 2009 at 11:02 am

toe jam

with 2 comments

 

thx Z.

Written by icecreeem

April 15, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Posted in musex

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ms. wizard’s world…

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So, my most recent try this at home discovery…

Ladies, did you know we can teach ourselves to squirt?! It’s the truth. I don’t know how many of you are natural squirters, I personally have never met one, and most guys I ask tell me they’ve, “been with one once”.   Through some friendly surveys and internet investigation, i realized that i have, once.  When i was younger. And until about a week ago I thought I had peed. So did the guy I was with (i heard it through the grapevine, lame).   Most sites I’ve been to all say “you might think it’s urine but it’s not”… yeah. Coulda fooled me (well… it did…)

Ok… so here’s the skinny. Usually when a girl cums there is slight a feeling like she’s gonna pee, and we hold in to a certain degree (not even realizing we’re doing it). The trick is just NOT holding in, and instead pushing out. Like you were trying to pee (so you probably want to go to the bathroom before you have sex or jack off so you don’t actually piss all over your bed/man…). It works. Well, the first time I tried I thought nothing happened but when I stood up in the morning it all came running out of me. Personally, I thought that was pretty funny… anyone?? But the second run was much more successful.

I mean, I don’t even really know why you would want to. It’s pretty messy. You can release anywhere from a few drops to 2 CUPS at a time. But it seems like something a lot of guys I talk to want to see, atleast every once in a while. Makes them feel accomplished. “Results” as one of them put it. But besides what boys want, I find it fascinating the things you can make your body do.  I never though i was a squirter.  Now i CAN be!!  My mother would be so proud…

 

Written by icecreeem

April 15, 2009 at 1:10 pm

the gallery

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On the right.  It will be updated weekly.  Just a little somethin extra for you (all two of you)…

love!!

abe

Written by icecreeem

April 14, 2009 at 1:03 pm

Posted in gallery

Tagged with , , , ,

Amayze ing

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i had the weirdest dream last night…

there was a hurricane coming to town.  i was very unprepared and had to go over to my neighbor’s house to help him tie some last things down (so to speak…).  i knock on the door and patrick swayze answers… in the face it was a young patrick swayze but i knew he was older.  he was wearing reAlly short running shorts and tube socks pulled up and had to have been 6 and a half feet tall.  this was really doin it for me and i could tell he totally wanted it too.  we were being all nervous and i asked him “how old are you?”.  “62”.  we both kinda laughed.  i had to run outside to grab a padlock to chain this huge hose  down (symbolism much?) so the hurricane wouldn’t blow it away.  i grabbed the TINIEST padlock i found outside and ran inside with it.  As patrick bent over to put the lock on the chain i could see his package hanging out his tiny biker shorts… this is where the dream turned into one of those blurs of arms and tongues…  and then some old lady came in and ruined it. (it was actually the old lady from the apartment building in the movie synecdoche, NY (see that movie if you haven’t)… the one that says “you’re very welcome young lady.”) 

i don’t know what this says about me as a person… but it worries me.

o patrick. ❤ ❤ ❤

Written by icecreeem

April 14, 2009 at 12:49 pm

just sayin…

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0639-8011

Written by icecreeem

April 11, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Exploitative? Sexy? Yes please.

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Him and Her used to do the thing. Once it ended they maintained a healthy yet sporadic phone flirtation. The occasional “what are you wearing,” or “come here right now” kinda thing. So, one week the communication gets heavy. Fast forward, he’s asking for a pic. She thinks to herself  “I’m always the one… i say it’s his fucking turn…”. She takes a shot in the dark… “you first boy”. Somewhat surprising to her, he’s all “yeah? I’ll send you a little something…” . Her phone makes that sonar noise it only makes when there’s a pic coming through… “oooooo goody!”…

She opens the message-

A pic of some girl sucking his dick.  seriously.

Her jaw hits the floor. She laughs hysterically!! Dumbfoundedness. Not really knowing right away if she is turned on by this or not  (but knowing either way that it is fucking aWesome), she responds with a for sure appropriate “wow”. Another pic comes through… another angle of this girl sucking on his cock (like she needed more perspective…)!!  This time the girl is looking right at the camera…

Ok, this might be the perfect venue in his mind to  A) show off  his cock with a size-reference point, and B) flaunt his prowess with the ladies… but still not sure what to think about all that…

Hot or not?  Would it work the other way?  What if a girl sent a guy a pic of some other dude’s head buried in her crotch?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Written by icecreeem

April 10, 2009 at 10:18 pm

icecreeem and youscreeem and a late night AIM screen

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y: Are you there? My little status box is still disappeared and I have the funniest story!

i: yes!!!|

y: Oh wait, I found the buddy box!

i: GO ON!!!!!!!

9:18 PM

y: I just left Starbucks and hit the grocery store b/c I needed some laundry detergent, some Lean Pockets and a bottle of chianti. I get home, still waiting for _______ to call back,  and there’s a mysterious box addressed to me in the kitchen. I don’t recognize the senders’ address and I’m all perplexed and shit. I opened it and it is a glass dildo!!! I don’t even remember ordering it so I looked online at my credit card billing statement and, sure enough, BLACKOUT drunk and lonely, I made some erotic purchases the other night. WTF!?!

i: LLLLLLLOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

i: omg have you ever used glass?

i: i haven’t. i’ve heard it’s amazing…

y: No but I’ve always wanted one. It’s called the something “icicle” and on the package (pun intended) it says, “Ice it down or heat it up.” Now I’m going to have to set up a whole temperature regulation station before I jack off!

i: crazy! ooooooo… go cold first! i am so curious if it’s better that rubber?

y: It just reminds me so much of highschool when someone would get a new glass bowl and everyone would ooo and ahh over the colors and trippy designs in it after they got high. I wish I could smoke out of my icicle. Can you just picture you and I passing a glass peen to one another!?!

i: myspace!

y: YES!

i: is it pretty?

y: It’s really plain. It’s clear glass w/ a blue spiral up the shaft. You know my cheap ass only spent like $50 bucks on the thing. THe funniest part is that it came with batteries and I couldn’t figure out why. Then I looked at the invoice and I FUCKING ORDERED THEM!! What a dumbass.

i: ok. that’s the lol est thing ever.

i: seriously.

i: i can’t stop!

y: I know, I’m loling at myself. I’m an idiot!! But a drunk horny one!

i: i wondered if the people packing it laughed…

y: The batteries are “doc johnson” brand.

i: awesome

i: bet they keep going and going…

y: HAAAAAAAA!!!

Written by youscreeem

April 9, 2009 at 8:15 pm

fuck my _________

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Dirty talk. We all love it. If you don’t do it you gotta admit you kinda wish you had the balls to. Every guy I know wants to hear the words “I need your huge hard cock in my tight little pussy…” come out a girl’s mouth. Every. Single. One.

I had this discussion the other day. Some things are a given. His parts for instance… cock, dick, shaft… even “man meat” could work with the right inflexxxtion … so easy. Ours… pussy… and? I mean, all the other words for vag are just not that sexy. Or are they? Am I just a square? It takes a certain kind of girl (pornstar) to be able to refer to it as her “cunt”… “fuck my cunt…” oooo… I don’t know about that… in theory maybe. MAYbe. So, what else? Poonani?  Twat? Hhahahhahaha. No.

But the real clincher (pun intended of course) is what do you call an asshole in bed? I mean… I am just at a loss. Asshole certainly is not very hot. Nor is butthole or anything with a word preceding “hole”. Someone suggested it just be called a “hole” period. But that could leave room for interpretation. Cornhole, piehole, peepee hole… SO many hOles!! Someone else said just ass… since if you were asking for someone to get in there, there would only be one way to go… making the “hole” part a given. pRetty smart.

And let me just add this… If your lover is spittin gems at you in the bedroom, don’t leave them hanging. Or even if they are just moaning a lot. There is seriously nothing more boring than a mute lay (to me… am I alone on this?). If your partner is telling you how fucking good your privates feel mashing into theirs, don’t be rude. Give it back.   Noise is hot. We want to hear you too. If you are not a dirty talker, atleast moan back a couple times. Give us sOmething to go on. Or even better would be a “your pussy/cock feels really good” or “you make my cock so hard/ pussy so wet” here and there. That is sO easy.  Child’s play. Practice in the mirror. You’ll do great.

 

Written by icecreeem

April 9, 2009 at 2:30 pm

where to begin…

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the stage is set. 

i’m goin public.  takin this show on the road.  i (we) have arrived.  we’re so fucking HERE.

there’s no way to ease into this.  let’s just do it, shall we? 

so… who wants to grind?

Written by icecreeem

April 9, 2009 at 2:34 am

Posted in everything else